I have spent a lot of my life trying to avoid sweating. The ease and massive volume that sweat makes its way out of my pores has always been a source of embarrassment for me. Kids always teased me about it in school and it has always made me uncomfortable. Like I’m some sort of freak. So why in the world would I want to make myself sweat on purpose? That is the million dollar question that came to mind when I enthusiastically accepted an invitation to attend an all-women sweat ceremony. I suppose the idea of deepening my connection with my own spirit and gaining a brighter insight from Goddess, God, and the powers of the universe overshadowed my self-consciousness.
On the day of the sweat, I made an effort to drink plenty of
water all morning. I collected my towel and water bottle and headed out the
door. I met up with my friend who was hosting the event. She was arriving a
little early to start the fire and tidy up. We arrived at a place called
“Hippie Hill.” She parked the car and we walked over to where the sweat was to
take place. The landscape was a typical high desert atmosphere complete with
beautiful trees, shrubs, cacti, and sandy brown dirt.
After our short walk we arrived at the building. I saw a
ramp leading downward into the ground toward a metal door that opened to a
fireplace. My friend proceeded to start a fire and fill up buckets of water.
While she did this, I got a chance to look around a bit. The ramp was bordered
by a couple of walls that were covered in a clay stucco that mimicked the color
of the earth so it blended into the landscape. Each wall hosted a built-in
bench. I sat on one and noticed a spot that the stucco didn’t cover. In that
spot was a pop can. I asked, “What is that pop can for?” I learned that the
walls of the building were constructed of pop cans and covered in clay! The air
inside of them creates some amazing insulating effects. I would have never known there were pop cans inside the walls since they were as solid as can be upon close inspection.
The structure itself is round and mostly underground. The
top is a dome with a metal chimney coming out of it. I walked around to the side opposite of the fireplace and
found the entryway at the bottom of a staircase. On either side of the
staircase are two shelves that hold all kinds of beautiful artifacts and
crystals. Looking above the staircase, on the dome roof is a stucco arch centered
over the entryway with a clear big-bellied deity built right in the middle. The
clear glass of the figure captured the sunlight and seemed to brighten my way
as I walked down to the entryway.
The entryway is one that has to be crawled through since its
height reaches to about 3 feet or so. Once inside, my eyes were treated to some
breathtaking architecture that enhances and compliments the natural
surroundings outside. The round room is constructed of a grey flat stone walls
and floor with a pit in the middle. A pile of what looks like lava rocks are placed
on the end where the fireplace stands opposite of the entryway. Intricate
wooden sliding vent covers adorned with a heart carved into them have been
placed on each side of the lava rocks to control air flow. The ceiling consists
of rounded stones and natural wooden beams that come together in the middle to
form a sort of asterisk. A heavy, black fabric is used to cover the entryway
when needed.
All in all, a beautiful structure with many intricate
details, but not at all what I had pictured in my mind. Let’s just say, I
thought it would be a little more spacious and above ground. The fact that it
is underground, no more than 4 and a half feet tall on the inside with a 3 foot
tall entryway was starting to make me question my ability to follow through
with the ceremony. Not to mention that it looked like it could fit only 6 people
comfortably and there was talk of 8 or more people arriving to partake. I
started to feel the stirring of claustrophobia in my gut, but I engaged in some
reassuring self-talk and got some tips on how to cope.
I wondered how hot it would be once water was thrown on the
lava rocks. My friend told me that it gets pretty hot and if I felt
overwhelmed, I should crouch face down on the cool stone floor to get some
relief. Being that this was my first time, I would get to sit right by the
entryway to be able to open and close the flap as I wished to feel a sense of
security. This made me feel somewhat better and realizing that I had participated
in hot yoga in the past gave me some encouragement as I figured it couldn’t be
any hotter than that. I was gaining confidence and started to feel like I could
handle anything.
We went outside and visited with the other women as they
arrived. I found that all these personalities individually and collectively
where striking me as more beautiful than the architecture I had just witnessed.
I felt surrounded by wise women comfortable in their spirituality. Sharing
smiles of gratitude and comfort. Everyone I met radiated a purity of heart that
heightened my own desire to not only admire them, but achieve a sensibility
like theirs.
After everyone arrived, the count of people was up to 9! My
wheels were turning as to how we would all be able to fit in that tiny room. My
anxiety was soon brought down by an opening prayer. We all gathered in a
circle, joined hands and prayed to the Goddess. We cleansed our auras with a
sage smudging then the real fun began. Everyone took off all their clothes and entered
the room individually. I was last to enter since I wanted to sit by the
entryway. I was told that if I needed to exit, all I had to say was, “All my
relations,” before leaving the room. I don’t exactly know the meaning behind
this, but I am determined to find out one day.
Ok so there we were all circled around with our naked
selves, shoulder to shoulder in the only light available through the entryway.
We spent a couple minutes grounding ourselves and I was asked to close the
flap. Once I did, I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. Major
disorientation started to take place in my brain. I felt a panic rise up in my
chest. There were a few words about connecting to the sister spirit, then I
heard the first roar of heat summoned up by water being thrown on the lava
rocks.
The immediate heat was so intense, it took my breath away. It
was like a fireball slapped me right in the face. It was a feeling similar to
when your oven is on broil and you open the door with your face too close. More
water was ladled onto the rocks and with each time, the heat got more and more
intense. This was definitely NOTHING like hot yoga. This was like sticking my
face in the mouth of a fire-breathing dragon.
My brain went quickly into shutdown mode as I felt like my
face was turning to wax and melting off of my skull. I forgot about getting
down on the floor for relief. All I could do was stick my head out of the flap
and breathe in the cool air from outside. The relief was only temporary until
the next blast of heat came. Breathing in cool air ended up just making things
worse. The contrast of the cold air outside with the heat blasting through my
body from inside was just unbearable. I lasted for maybe a total of 10 heat
blasts. When I finally had enough I forgot to say the magic words, “All my
relations.” All I could muster to say was, “I gotta get outta here!”
I quickly exited and sat on the stairs just outside. I felt
an overwhelming sense of sadness that I couldn’t hack it. I had looked forward
to attending my first sweat for a couple of years and I wasn’t even able to
hold on past the first few minutes inside. I spent a little bit of time crying
and feeling sorry for myself. When I looked up through the haziness of my tears
I saw the two shelves on either side of the staircase. I noticed many
individual beams of triangular light pointing out of the artifacts and crystals
as if they were reaching out to me with the light of the sun shining through
them.
I had thought my experience was cut short by exiting the
sweat room, when in reality, it all happened for me exactly the way it was
supposed to. My awareness of my surroundings had suddenly been extremely enhanced.
I realized the power of the universe to manifest itself in such simple things
like light energy and crystals reaching out to me in order to provide comfort.
As I took in the beauty around me, my unhappiness with myself was replaced with
a feeling of gratitude that filled every cell of my body. I have never been so
full of an emotion like that where I could feel it not only in my heart, but
from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and fingers.
I felt a presence up behind me so I looked in that direction and came to find a dog wagging his tail enthusiastically while looking
down at me from the top of the staircase. This was a dog who belonged to one of the women
inside. She had put him in the car right before the ceremony so he wouldn't take off. I felt like he
had escaped because he felt my reaching need for comfort and somehow knew that one of my spirit animal totems is a dog. I smiled at him and
he ran down the stairs to me and let me pet his soft curly fur.
Together, the dog and I sat and listened to the sounds of the ceremony from outside. From inside the collective sounds of the women singing was rising
to angelic heights. I had never heard such melodies and harmony so energetic
and expanding. I closed my eyes and felt immediately transported to a concert amphitheater.
The intensions and experiences of the women inside could not be contained by
the tiny room. They all transcended the limits of space and filled the air
around with love and comfort together.
The ceremony lasted for over an hour. People started to
trickle out and I enjoyed visiting with women from all different backgrounds
who all shared a common thread for desire and purity of spirit. I felt honored
to be invited into a sacred space that allowed my soul to experience such a
range of emotions in one afternoon. It felt amazing to create some positivity
in my life through new connections with other like-minded women and to feel an acknowledgment
of my own spirit rising.
Under normal circumstances, I might have left feeling
defeated and left out, being the first one out of the sweat. This, however, is
no normal circumstance. There was a sensation of such empowering energy that I
feel inspired to go again and again until I can conquer a level of endurance to
withstand such a drastically hot environment. If I got as much as I did from
withstanding a few minutes of heat, just imagine what I can get out of hanging
in there for an hour! It may take me a while to get to that point, but I
believe the benefits are worth the work.